AITA For Breaking Up Over Declawing Our Kitten | Dog Trainer Reacts to Reddit AITA

Possible revised intro: The internet is full of controversial stories, and the popular subreddit AITA (Am I The Asshole) has become a platform for people to share their moral dilemmas and seek judgment from the online community. One recent AITA post that went viral involved a couple’s disagreement over declawing their new kitten, which ultimately led to their breakup. While some Redditors supported the decision to avoid declawing, others argued that it was their right as pet owners. As an experienced dog trainer, I decided to weigh in on this divisive topic and offer my perspective on whether declawing is a humane and necessary practice or a cruel and avoidable one.

AITA For Breaking Up Over Declawing Our Kitten | Dog Trainer Reacts to Reddit AITA


There is an ongoing debate regarding declawing cats, with some people finding it to be a necessary procedure while others believe it to be inhumane. A recent post to the subreddit r/AITA, however, asked a question that extended beyond this already controversial topic. The post asked if it was fair for a person to break up with their partner after the partner had declawed their shared kitten.

As a certified dog trainer with experience in animal behavior, I am often confronted with similar scenarios. Clients seeking assistance with their beloved pets often come with a variety of complicated situations. Because of this, I’d like to address this particular AITA post by offering my professional opinion on whether or not it is justified for a person to break up with a partner over declawing a kitten.

The Situation

The post on r/AITA describes a situation where a person’s partner had a kitten declawed without their knowledge. The original poster had adopted the kitten with the understanding that they would be taking care of it together. However, the partner did not seek the poster’s approval before proceeding with the declawing procedure. After discovering what had happened, the poster faced severe ethical concerns and could no longer imagine being in a romantic relationship with someone who would purposely inflict pain on a defenseless animal.

The initial response after reading this is most likely one of shock and outrage. However, we need to take some time to reflect on the situation and consider the different factors that might come into play.

My Professional Opinion

As someone who strives to promote positive reinforcement-based training and holistic wellness, I firmly believe that declawing is an unnecessary and cruel procedure that should never be performed. According to the Humane Society of the United States, declawing is an act of amputation and can lead to a range of physical and behavioral issues, including chronic pain, infection, and litter box avoidance.

The issue addressed on r/AITA goes beyond the debate on declawing and touches on the ethical behavior of a person in a romantic relationship. It is important to consider that when two people enter into a romantic relationship, they bring their individual values, beliefs, and standards with them.

It is not reasonable to expect every couple to agree on every issue, but there are some values that are so fundamental that they must align if the relationship is to work. Every person has boundaries, and it is important that each partner respects those boundaries. In the case of the post on r/AITA, the poster was leading an animal-loving lifestyle and expected their partner to do the same. They found it intolerable that their partner declawed their kitten without their permission, and this created a massive rift in the relationship.


In light of the situation presented on r/AITA, it is understandable that the poster ended the relationship after their partner had their kitten declawed without permission. While the public’s opinion may be varied, it is important to ensure that our actions align with our lifestyles and values.

As a dog trainer and animal enthusiast, I encourage all pet owners to educate themselves on best practices for their pets’ physical and behavioral well-being, including avoiding inhumane procedures like declawing.


  1. What is the best way to train my dog without resorting to punishment?
    A: Positive reinforcement-based training is considered best practice. This means rewarding positive behaviors with treats, praise, and toys while avoiding punishments like shock collars or physical reprimands.

  2. What should I feed my puppy to keep them healthy?
    A: Premium dog food is designed to meet your puppy’s nutritional needs. Look for a high-quality kibble that contains protein sources and carbohydrates.

  3. Should I adopt a cat that has already been declawed?
    A: While it is not recommended to have a cat undergo the declawing procedure, if you adopt a cat that has already undergone the procedure, be sure to give them a comfortable space and provide alternatives to scratching, like scratching posts.

  4. How can I help my dog overcome separation anxiety?
    A: Consistent training and gradually exposing your dog to situations where they are alone may help them overcome anxiety. Create a safe and comfortable space for your dog when you are away and consider seeking professional help if your dog’s anxiety persists.

  5. How can I teach my dog basic commands like sit and stay?
    A: Repetitive practice with positive rewards like treats and toys are the best methods for teaching your dog commands. Start with short training sessions and build up gradually over time.